Areola View: A peek at the new graphic sensation

We’re always interested in what our fellow indie makers are up to – what’s driving them musically, what mediums they’re dabbling in and who or what’s currently inspiring their work. And after padding through the medias this week, there’s one trend that’s the absolute breast.

 

BOOBS! Boobs everywhere! (No, not you, American Apparel.) We’re taking wallpaper, t-shirts and vases. Boobs are becoming graphically mainstream and we’re totally feeling it. But what’s fueling the resurgence? One theory is Free the Nipple, a 2014 film based on a true story that follows a group of topless young women who take to the streets of NYC in an effort to decriminalize the female body.

 

 

Remember that whole “Burn Your Bra” thing? It’s sad this issue is still being revisited decades later, but this could be nipping point, people. And what better way to desensitize the masses than a healthy dose of visual motorboating?

Get the cards HERE.

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Weekly Rear End: Buuurdays Edition

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Hell hath no fury like a winter storm … that’s how it goes, right? Whatever, all I know is that most of the Eastern U.S. is currently under thick layers of snow, ice and really unflattering socks. That’s why this edition of the Weekly Rear-End is all about the FI-YAAHHH. Let’s bring the temp up, shall we?

1. TO BINGE OR NOT TO BINGE? Pssht. Like we have options. On ordinary blue-skied and sunny days you can find most of us Krazy Glued of our TVs, pocket computers and magical tablet devices overdosing on season after season of Dawson’s Creek and LUUUUHHHHVING it. In winter, though, time fades to white and our couches become 100% judgement free zones. Thankfully, those big cuddle bears at Netflix had our health and well-being in mind when they introduced their their new ad/promotion, #NETFLIXBEARDS. Get ready to be whiskered away.

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2. Brit-Brit’s Done Got Fit-Fit!!

Not a lot of words needed here, just a good old fashioned, YOU GO GIRL!

Britney recently revealed her crazy-toned bod in the current issue of Women’s Health and it is snow-meltingly HAWT. (No Uggs were anywhere to be seen.)

Enjoy all the Cheetos and booze you want right now, y’all, but when all this shit melts, you better WORK BITCH!

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3. Sex therapists say a little extra spice can always heat things up, even 15 years down the road. UH. BITCHES WEREN’T LYIN’.

Last week, British pop sensation The Spice Girls gifted our ears with four previously unreleased tracks from their 2000 album, Forever. “Pain Proof,” “Right Back at Ya’,” “A Day in Your Life,” and “If It’s Lovin’ on Your Mind” are cheesy, sexy, fun and are totally baggy-pants-and-dance-routine ready. Sadly, Geri Halliwell, aka Ginger Spice, who peaced out in 1998, does not appear in any of the tracks, but we can still hope for another reunion tour, right? HI-CI-YA HOLD TIGHT!!

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xoxo

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ART: What the heel? Something's afoot!

Foot fetishers of the world UNITE! Recent hashtag obsession #HeelConcept has the interwebs ankling for more footsies! Back in December, artist, textile designer and avid Instahamer Misty Pollen (aka @m.sty) decided to take a different approach to self-portraiture and still life photography by DIYing shoes out of everyday objects like chess pieces and “the mother of all sprouted potatoes.” SAY WHAT?! Yeah. After a couple of Instaham buddies joined in on the fun a couple of weeks ago, these little piggies have gone to the market, doubling posts and gaining ground with a quickness.

Readers Beware: Scrolling through the #HeelConcept feed can be a lil funky at times — some folks' feet are more busted than Suge Knight — but it’s fun to see what creative materials are being used. Haven’t seen any ham yet, tho …


Please proceed on foot:

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POP FOOD: EGGsplosion 2015

First it was pizza. Then it was kale. But the most recent food obsession seems a little, I don’t know, unEGGspected.

Everywhere you look today it’s eggs Eggs EGGS! Remember when eggs were the token mascot for crack-cocaine? You know, that 1980’s anti-drug commercial with the dude and the hot pan, and the simulated brain sizzling? Now, pizza with an egg cracked on top is being touted as a complete breakfast — I mean, is this the end of days or have we all finally, collectively reached Nirvana?

Whatever the case, those little bird turds must have a really good PR agent. 

If you’re feeling EGGscluded, here’s a few EGGsamples to catch you up:

 

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Weekly Rear End: Thursday Edition

Welp, we couldn’t wait until Friday to share all of the things that’s turning us on this week, so let’s jump right in!

 

SAG Awards

Oh, the SAGs — that’s when you know you’re in the thick of it. The Screen Actors Guild Awards always falls just after the Golden Globes and right before the Oscars — kind of like a fancy hotel lunch (that includes drinks and appetizers — I know, appetizers at lunch?! SWANKY!) of the awards season. But what truly sets the SAGs apart from the bunch is 1 - it’s, like, five hours shorter and 2 - it’s actors nominated by their peers for their work in film and television. Receiving one of those trophies is like getting the ultimate fist bump from your fellow thespians. PLUS, there’s tons of pretty people to look at. Here’s some of the highlights from this year’s show:

Mani Cam DENIED!!

(uhhh, or maybe she’s just ethnic…)

… could be a 49-year-old dark-skinned African-American woman who looks like me.”

 

Sleevebucks

There’s a plethora of artists out there doodling masterpieces all over Seattle’s most famous coffee cups, so one Instahamer decided to take a different approach by drawing pop culture characters on those little cardboard siren sweaters. Artist @sleevebucks pens everyday people and also tackles themes like Disney, Marvel and Harry Potter. To top it all off, the illustrations are delightfully expresso-ive and have punny cuptions like Beanadict Cumberbatch and Marilyn Monroast.  Ahhh, finally. A legit reason to like Starbucks.

The Ghostbusters Reboot

BLAH BLAH BLAH my childhood’s ruined WAH WAH WAH oh get over it. It’s the Age of the Reboot, folks, and as much as Hollywood enjoys butt sexing our cherished memories for every stinkin’ penny, who really wants to see some other dude replace Bill Murray as Dr. Peter Venkman? So, why not toss it to the ladies? The crackerjack team of comedians — comprised of the shartastically hilarious Kristin Wiig, Melissa McCarthy, Leslie Jones and Kate McKinnon, have all proven themselves worthy to strap on the pack and blast some specters. Besides, as long as Slimer makes a cameo, who gives a poop?

FourFiveSeconds

Speaking of poop, Paul McCartney is about four or five seconds from a colostomy bag, amiright? Aw, c’mon! The dude’s as old a Bilbo Baggins! It’s probably for the best that he went ahead and got this out of his system. HA. But seriously, it’s The Beatles front man that sets the tone for this whole collaboration. We’ve never heard Kayne or Ri Ri (really) sing like this before, so it’s definitely worth a listen. AND everyone’s talking about it. You really don’t want to be the only one at Chipotle eating your carnitas burrito bowl in the corner with nothing to say, do you? Then there’s nothing left to do but WYLE OUT!

Winter Storm Juno

Winter Storm Juno was kind of lame. A paper napkin from KFC could cover more of the Northeast than that piddly shit show. Sure, it was named after that cute pregnant girl with the cheeseburger phone, but all this blow hard hub bub has done is remind America how hard the winter should go fuck itself.

Nessie the Loch Ness Ladle

Nessie the Loch Ness Ladle is having the best week ever! After all this time she’s surfaced from the depths (of our hearts) TO BRING US SOUP! The most adorable kitchen utensil you’ve ever seen recently blew up the interwebs with cuteness and has made some impressive stand-in on-screen cameos. Right now Nessie is only available for purchase across the pond, but she’s due for a U.S. tour next month! The only catch is, she’s in such high demand that the Scottish manufacturers are estimating back orders until May. NO HOAX! 

 

 

 

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OMIGOD: Mercury goes retro

You may have noticed life got a little wonkier than usual yesterday — computers freezing, iPhones seizing, an unauthorized auto draft from your bank account, or, hitting every.single.stoplight on the way the burrito barn (true story). If any of this sounds familiar, there’s a good reason: Mercury's gone retrograde again.

Mercury is the Roman messenger god and patron of communication, travel, financial gain, commerce, and thievery. Known for his speed and agility (due to those dope winged sandals), it’s no wonder the smallest, fastest and closest planet to the Sun was given his name.

 

Mercury’s orbit is the most eccentric in our solar system to start, but when in retrograde, the planet appears to slow, stop and then move in reverse. This is actually an optical illusion — kind of like slowing your car down beside a moving train — and happens 3-to-4 times every year.

Just as the moon’s gravitational force creates waves in our oceans, the tiny terrestrial planet’s orbit seems to have an effect on our daily hustle. When in reverse, everything it rules gets caught in the backspin, too, including rational thought, money and all forms of communication.

The first Mercury Retrograde of 2015 (January 21st through February 11th) has officially begun and there’s some shiz you need to know to plow through unscathed.

 

Survival Skills

Traditional DON’Ts for a Mercury Retrograde cover the bases pretty well: “Don’t travel. Don’t sign contracts. Don’t marry. Don’t touch electrics!” But in an age where we are constantly poking the sleeping dog, maybe some cautionary guidelines (graciously provided by the ever-sagely Huffington Post) for the DOs are in order :

1. Review all contracts and legal documents before signing.

2. Pause and breathe before speaking and repeat yourself if necessary!

3. Read all emails and documents before you send.

4. Insure/track important mail and packages, since Mercury rules the postal system.

5. Get your vehicles (or bikes) tuned up and be sure to pack an emergency roadside kit.

6. Leave early for any travel and appointments, since Mercury can delay flights.

7. Renew your commitments instead of making new ones.

8. Focus on the prefix, re — which means to go backward — and renew, review, revamp, redecorate, et al.

9. Plan reunions with old friends & loved ones, but prepare for possible mishaps!

10. Expect to hear from/run into people from your past at the weirdest moments.

11. Get sentimental. Reconnect with your roots and walk down memory lane.

12. Practice forgiveness. Finish processing what’s unresolved so you can let it go.

13. Confirm all dates, plans, meetings and appointments.

14. Think of the retrograde as a quarterly review period, a chance to pause and finish what you’ve started during that timeframe.

15. Back up your digital data (photos, contact lists and files) before the retrograde or ASAP, if it has already begun.


In closing, here’s a little diddy to get you through the rough spots.

GOOD LUCK!

xoxo

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