TGIF y’all! We’re winding down the first full week of our favorite fall month, and so far, we like what we’re seeing: The floodwaters are receding, the air is crisping and everyone's oozing in some fashion. You’re making this really easy for us, October.
First, way to serve up the most frightening thing of 2015, Burger King. To kick off the howliday season, the ruler of the food court has unveiled its most gruesome concoction yet: THE HALLOWEEN WHOPPER. Yep. The signature flame grilled quarter-pound beef patty now comes on a bun blacker than the ninth ring of Satan's colon. Top that with A1 Sauce, add fries and a Coke, and you have yourself a nosh fest that can only be described as gut wrenching.
Butt that’s not all. Recently, consumers have discovered that what goes in black, comes out green. GRODY! Guess it’s not the #2 fast food chain in America for nothin’.
A lot has been said about the return of American Horror Story this past Wednesday: “It was too much.” “It crossed the line.” “It’s garbage.” – this is mostly due to the now infamous “drill bit dildo” scene. (Good luck Googling that clip.) It’s safe to say that the fifth installment of the freakish FX franchise already has a lot of haters. Know what it has tons more of? BOOTY. True story! Hotties Matt Bomer and Max Greenfield’s buns are officially AHS alumni. PHEW. We haven’t seen that many tasty cracks since we found that beat up Nature Valley granola bar in the bottom of our backpack. But the biggest takeaway from AHS: Hotel episode one was seeing vampire countess Lady Gaga ordering pink tacos in the park late night.
OK, there’s a slight backside theme this week, so let’s flip it and reverse it. Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s, The Walk hits theaters today, and like the new Whopper, it has folks projectile spewing -- but from the front end. The film is set in 1974 with JG-L playing Philippe Petit, a high-wire artist planning on tight rope walking across the top of the twin towers of the World Trade Center. Just the description has us bent over heaving like the time we saw the Hulk Hogan sex tape.
Us after watching the trailer:
The Walk Movie Challenge: Eat all the popcorn before you hurl in the tub.
THREE CHEERS FOR OCTOBER!!!