How Jay Z's Tidal could be waving all the way to the bank

Y'all motherfuckers think you big time? HA. That's basically Jay Z's message to Spotify this week. On Monday, Brooklyn's finest went public with his newly acquired music streaming service, Tidal.

The new internet slash app-based service aims to give artists more control over how folks stream their music. The business model must be sound because throughout the release mega stars like Madonna, Beyonce, Daft Punk, Kanye, Rihanna and Chris Martin's giant, floating Wizard of OZ head via Skype all flocked to the stage like seagulls after a half-eaten 6-inch Subway sandwich to stake their claim as co-owners in the venture. Now they stand to reap the financial benefits of what we've been legally ganking for years.

Right now we can access the bulk of any musician's artistic property through a host of media streaming services. All currently offer free listening platforms to lure potential subscribers -- and the model works -- but artists claim they aren't profiting enough. OH. Is money what's sparking the frenzy that's sending some of the most famous music biz billis to Tidal? Probably. 'Member that blank space Tay Swift left on Spotify (and in our hearts) when she dipped out last year? Well, now all of her albums (save for 1989) are available exclusively through the Jigga Man's tune stream. Coincidence? Nah.

So what do we soul-sucking, Target-dollar-bin-loving consumers get? Let's see:

For $9.99 a month you get the standard audio def version of Tidal that's the equivalent of Alanis Morissette shaking some beans around in a can through a pair of 1986 Walkman headphones. Or add ten smackaroos to the tab (total $19.99/month) and receive a higher quality audio experience where you're constantly wiping Pop Tart crumbs from the corners of Kanye's mouth off your ear -- all for double the price of Spotify.

And what do the artists get? Let's see:

Seems fair.

The bright side here is that all of our fave indie dark horses have a while before they sell out, right? RIGHT! So if worst come to worst and Tidal completely drowns out Spotify, we'll just be over here like, HEY PANDORA!

 

DEUCES!

 

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