OMIGOD: Mercury goes retro

You may have noticed life got a little wonkier than usual yesterday — computers freezing, iPhones seizing, an unauthorized auto draft from your bank account, or, hitting every.single.stoplight on the way the burrito barn (true story). If any of this sounds familiar, there’s a good reason: Mercury's gone retrograde again.

Mercury is the Roman messenger god and patron of communication, travel, financial gain, commerce, and thievery. Known for his speed and agility (due to those dope winged sandals), it’s no wonder the smallest, fastest and closest planet to the Sun was given his name.


Mercury’s orbit is the most eccentric in our solar system to start, but when in retrograde, the planet appears to slow, stop and then move in reverse. This is actually an optical illusion — kind of like slowing your car down beside a moving train — and happens 3-to-4 times every year.

Just as the moon’s gravitational force creates waves in our oceans, the tiny terrestrial planet’s orbit seems to have an effect on our daily hustle. When in reverse, everything it rules gets caught in the backspin, too, including rational thought, money and all forms of communication.

The first Mercury Retrograde of 2015 (January 21st through February 11th) has officially begun and there’s some shiz you need to know to plow through unscathed.


Survival Skills

Traditional DON’Ts for a Mercury Retrograde cover the bases pretty well: “Don’t travel. Don’t sign contracts. Don’t marry. Don’t touch electrics!” But in an age where we are constantly poking the sleeping dog, maybe some cautionary guidelines (graciously provided by the ever-sagely Huffington Post) for the DOs are in order :

1. Review all contracts and legal documents before signing.

2. Pause and breathe before speaking and repeat yourself if necessary!

3. Read all emails and documents before you send.

4. Insure/track important mail and packages, since Mercury rules the postal system.

5. Get your vehicles (or bikes) tuned up and be sure to pack an emergency roadside kit.

6. Leave early for any travel and appointments, since Mercury can delay flights.

7. Renew your commitments instead of making new ones.

8. Focus on the prefix, re — which means to go backward — and renew, review, revamp, redecorate, et al.

9. Plan reunions with old friends & loved ones, but prepare for possible mishaps!

10. Expect to hear from/run into people from your past at the weirdest moments.

11. Get sentimental. Reconnect with your roots and walk down memory lane.

12. Practice forgiveness. Finish processing what’s unresolved so you can let it go.

13. Confirm all dates, plans, meetings and appointments.

14. Think of the retrograde as a quarterly review period, a chance to pause and finish what you’ve started during that timeframe.

15. Back up your digital data (photos, contact lists and files) before the retrograde or ASAP, if it has already begun.

In closing, here’s a little diddy to get you through the rough spots.



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